"To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art." - La Rochefoucauld

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

We get to hold them once a day for about one-two hours. It is heaven on earth!!! We cherish every second we get to touch them. It is so hard not being able to cuddle with them all day long. This is a picture of us holding them for the first time on day three. I am holding Jake and Kevin is holding Ben.




Jake & Ben 6 days old

Our little boys are almost one week old! We can’t believe it!! We fall in love with these little guys more and more each day we see them! They are so precious!


JAKE AT 3 DAYS OLD

BEN AT 3 DAYS OLD

The first week in the NICU has been pretty uneventful. The doctors are very pleased with the boy’s progress. Jake came off the vent after 24 hours and went right to the nasal cannula which just pushes air up his nose to help expand his lungs. They expect to take that out today. His feedings are going really well. He is digesting his food and going to the bathroom as he should. Ben was on the vent for 4 hours, the c-pap for 24 hours and then had his cannula taken out today. He is officially getting no help with his breathing. His feedings are also going very well. Both boys had brain scans that came back normal. We will have another brain scan to look for brain bleeds on Thursday. The doctor said it is highly unlikely that they we will have a brain bleed at this point with as well as they are doing.

Both boys are experiencing random bradycadira spells. This is where their heart rate dips down and pops right back up. The doctor told me he expects babies of this gestational age to be doing this. He said they will out grow these spells. Thank God!!! They are really hard to watch! The nurse usually has to go over to the baby and tap his foot to get his heart rate to pop back up. Every time I see this happen my eyes well up with tears. The nurses said I will get use to seeing them but I don’t think that’s possible!

The boys have to meet three goals before they can come home. 1) Breathing on their own, which we have accomplished, 2) Sucking and eating via a bottle. Usually babies don’t develop their sucking reflex until 34 weeks and that’s when they will begin bottle/breast feeding. 3) Maintaining their body temperature. So one goal down and two to go! Today they actually lowered Jake’s isolette temperature which means he is almost ready for goal number two.

It is very hard to leave these little angels every night. I usually have a good cry on the way home after leaving them. I know they are in great hands but it doesn’t make it any easier. We are just so grateful that they are doing well. I just pray every night that they can stay on this path. We are so grateful for all of your prayers. I know I have said that a million times..but I can’t thank you enough.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Our Birth Story
September 14, 2006

Kevin and I are proud to welcome Jake Francis and Benedict William into the world!!!!!! We are so happy to report that the boys are doing very well. Jake was born at 4:37 p.m. weighing 3 pounds two ounces. Ben was born at 4:39 p.m. weighing two pounds on the nose. It was truly the most wonderful day of our lives!!!!!

The birth of our boys may be a shock to most of you as it was a snap decision made on Wednesday afternoon. We are so sorry that we have not been able to call or email anyone till now. We always had this vision that on the night of their birth we would spend the evening calling friends and family…but with the way the day went we were lucky to get a minute in edgewise to do anything. We are hoping things will settle a little so we can catch up on some calls and chat with some friends.

RECAP: Wednesday we went to our routine ultrasound and we found continued reversal flow of Ben’s umbilical artery. We also did two other Doppler scans (DV and MCA) that showed Ben was not getting what he needed and time was running out. Our doctor pulled us into the conference room and said Thursday will be the day!!! He wanted to give us one more steroid shot to further the boy’s lung development, which needed a 24 hour period of time to go into full effect. At this point, delivery was planned for 1:00 p.m. on the 15th.

We were feeling very good about this plan until late Wednesday night when we were doing our routine NST (Nonstress Test) when we saw Ben have a significant deceleration. His baseline also went from 150/160 to 120. Kevin had just stepped out to get dinner for us when the nurse asked me where my husband went. I asked her why and she replied, “Can he get here as soon as possible?” At this point, I started to panic. I called Kevin and told him not to panic but to get back as quick as possible.

They moved us back down to the high-risk floor where they prepped us for delivery. They set me up with the I.V. and all the monitors. They said if we don’t deliver tonight, you will need to be on 24 hour monitoring all night just incase we have an emergency. At this point, I felt it was time to deliver and did not want to put these boys in jeopardy any longer. I tried talking the doctor on call and Kevin in to delivering these babies NOW. They both calmed me down and said if we can make it to Thursday morning, the babies will have received that extra boost they need from the steroid shots, plus Kevin and I desperately wanted our doctors and nurses there that we had hand picked for the surgery. The plan at this point was to try to make it until morning, but if something comes up…we were going to go for it.

Wednesday night was the most challenging night of my life. I was either starring at the heart rate monitors or the clock all night. I just kept praying that God would give us those few extra hours we so desperately needed. Time went so slow. Finally, at 7:00 a.m. I heard my nurse and doctor’s voice in the hallway and started crying because I knew we made it!!! Plus Ben’s heart rate looked great so the team was comfortable waiting till our scheduled time at 1:00 p.m.

Our immediate family arrived around 10:00 a.m. We all sat their anxiously awaiting the nurse to come in and tell us it was time. Unfortunately, because of a backed up schedule we did not get called back till 4:00 p.m. They got us prepped for delivery and we began the c-section. My very good friend Amy, a new mom herself, told me not to let my nerves get the best of me and to cherish every moment of this miracle. I did just that! I loved every minute of it! After being told such tragic news at week 17, we couldn’t believe we were going to see our little miracles for the first time. Yes, it was painful at times but as soon as I heard each of the boys cry I became overjoyed with happiness. Kevin was soooooooooooo strong!!! He actually videotaped the entire procedure…a video I am not quite ready to see yet!

The doctors showed me Jake but could not show me Ben, but just hearing his little cry I knew he was ok. The boys were rushed to a room where they would get stabilized and then off to the NICU. Well the boys were being treated, the doctors told us something we had been waiting to hear for so long…the answer to this entire mystery. Why had Ben not grown appropriately and why had we experienced so many complications during our pregnancy. Pathology still needs to do their report, which can take 6-8 weeks, but at first glance of the placenta and the cords, the doctors were able to tell us a lot. They said Ben’s cord was extremely narrow at the umbilicus insertion. Initially, this probably caused the growth discordance between the boys. By the way, Dr. Sue (A.K.A. mom/our case manager) predicted this complication before a doctor even suggested this could be the case. The latest decline in Ben’s restriction was probably due to IUGR. It looked like about a 65/35 split at first glance. This means that Ben was getting approximately 35% of the placenta and Jake was getting 65%. Ben was starting to outgrow his portion of the placenta. This will all be confirmed after the pathology reports come back. We will also know what sort of TTTS connections Jake and Ben were sharing. Our neonatologist told us if you have a growth restricted baby, this is the best kind to have. Ben’s slower growth was most likely due to the placenta insufficiency and cord narrowing versus a chromosomal problem or infection.

Once I got stitched up, it was off to see our little guys for the first time. They are so beautiful!! They are so tiny and so perfect!!! Sadly, we could not hold them but we could stick our hand through their isolates and touch their cute little bodies. We still can’t believe they both belong to us. It was so hard splitting our time between the two of them. Jake has a lot of hair and is our big boy. Ben, our little guy, is just as feisty as we imagined he would be. Actually, the nurses said they both are very active.

We were so happy to hear that the doctors said “they had a perfect start into this world.” That was probably the best news we have ever heard. We know that things can change, but we were so happy our boys had the best start possible. In fact, Ben actually went off the vent only four hours after delivery!!! He is now on a c-pap and doing well. I could not believe it when they told us that. He said their lungs are in excellent condition and Jake should be off shortly too. The boys also got an 8/9 out of 10 on their Apgar test, which we were really pleased about also. It was good news after good news last night.

It was so hard to leave them last night. We actually did not sleep well again and called down to the nursery several times to see how they were doing. I can’t wait to go see them again today!!!

For the first time, we feel at ease. We know our boys are getting exactly what they need and are being monitored 24/7 by an excellent team of people. We pray to God they continue to do well. The first week is really important and indicative of their prognosis. Again, I have a great feeling they are going to do very well!

Now for part two of this journey. We are ready to embrace the NICU. It is now time to move on from pregnancy 101 to NICU 101. Lots of studying to do!!

Thank you very much for everything and we will keep posting to update you on the boy’s progress.

Love,
Kevin, Danielle, Jake, & Ben

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

30 Weeks 3 Days (14 weeks of bed rest, ONE DAY TO DELIVERY)

That’s right……We only have one day left of being pregnant with these little miracles! Kevin and I are excited to announce Jake and Ben will be born on September 14th, during a scheduled c-section at approximately 1:00 p.m. We are excited, nervous, anxious, etc., etc.

This morning at our routine ultrasound the doctors detected persistent reverse flow of the umbilical artery. This indicates that Ben is experiencing increased resistance from the placenta. Ben looked great otherwise. He had wonderful activity, normal amniotic fluid, and was practicing breathing movements for a sustained amount of time. The doctors believe this is the best time to deliver because he is stable. They do not want to let things progress for the worse. They feel its better to deliver a healthy baby versus a sick baby.

We feel very good about this decision. Ben held out as long as he possibly could. He gave his big brother Jake the very best chance for survival. I am so proud of both of them. They are such fighters. I know they will continue this fight throughout the NICU journey.

Tonight we are celebrating our four year anniversary and enjoying our last night as a family of two. I cannot believe at this time tomorrow we will be a family of four...ok five including Abbie! We are so grateful for everyone’s continued support and we will be sure to post a quick update Thursday night as to how things went. As you can imagine, the next two weeks are going to be very crazy and we ask that everyone would kindly wait until the boys are stable before visiting. Trust me, as soon as we can show these boys off, we will! We will be sure to post pictures as soon as possible.

Thanks again!

Love,

Soon-to-be Mom & Dad

30 Weeks and growing!!!!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

29 Weeks 6 Days (13 weeks of bed rest, 2 left to go!!!)

Yea, you heard me!!! Two weeks left to go! We have set a delivery date for September 25th. As of today, we have a scheduled c-section the morning of the 25th. Jake and Ben will be 32 weeks and one day. Our doctors do not think it would be a good idea to go beyond this point. Ben has started to demonstrate something called a brain sparing effect. This sounds very scary but it actually is a good thing. Due to his small size and restricted blood flow, his body is sending all of his blood to his head to protect his brain. When this stops, we know his time is up! Right now he is doing exactly what he should be doing. We don’t know how much longer he will continue to do this and that is why the doctors don’t think it’s a good idea to let me keep going. They feel 32 weeks is also a good time for Jake too. A baby is done developing neurologically at 32 weeks. My doctor said long-term complications are very rare at this gestational age. We are praying we can make it two more weeks. If anything happens before then, we will go ahead and deliver but we are holding out for the big 32!!

We are very nervous and very excited at the same time. Lord knows I would sit in this bed for another three more months if it would help but I can’t deny that I am happy this part of the journey will be over soon. I have so enjoyed being pregnant but I have not enjoyed the restrictions. I will be a free woman soon!!! We still will be at the hospital 24/7 with the boys but I will actually be able to walk again!! Woo Hooooo!! The things we take for granted!

What’s nice about having a scheduled c-section is that we can actually hand pick our nurses and doctors. We also can mentally prepare for the big day. I just can’t believe we are going to be parents in two weeks!! I am so excited to meet Jake and Ben!

Tonight I am sitting at home while my entire family is celebrating my niece/God Child’s 1st birthday. I am so sad I can’t be there. My sister planned a huge party for her little girl that I am sure is going to be outstanding. Kevin is videotaping for me so I can see her eating her cake. He is also bringing me a plate of food so I don’t have to eat hospital food tonight, so that will be nice.

Oh by the way, my dedicated husband found an air mattress that he can squish between my bed and the bathroom door so he can stay the night with me. He actually said it is better then the pull out chair he has been sleeping on the last three weeks. He is so patient and never complains. He gets my vote for “father of the year!” :)

Well I better get going…I have lots to do!! :) I am in the process of planning FAD #30!!!!!

Thanks for staying in touch and we will keep you posted!
HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY SOPHIA RENEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

29 Weeks 4 Days

Our little Ben grew!!!! He still is a little peanut but he is now one pound eleven ounces. He is starting to fall off his growth curve and is under the 10th percentile but the doctors feel it is still best to stay pregnant for now and let these babies cook!!!

Our little fatty cakes Jake also did some awesome growing too!! He is now two pounds fifteen ounces and I like to round up and call him three pounds!!! He is in the 46th percentile. The boys now have 40% growth discordance.

Kevin and I are very happy! Even though Ben is very small, he is still growing and showing other very encouraging signs. He got an 8 out of 8 on his B.P.P. (Biophysical Profile) and has excellent amniotic fluid and movement.

Overall, they hope we can get to 32 weeks. Hopefully, that would get Ben over two pounds. As the docs keep telling us, as long as he has the maturity, we can fatten him up in the NICU.

Since we are going on our 4th week in the hospital and remain stable, they had to move us to a different room. We are very sad. We loved our nurses and our accommodations in “apartment 4.” Now we are in “closet #45.” Our room is not even half the size it was. There also isn’t a bed for Kevin to sleep in which will force him to go home and get a good nights rest, which he really needs!!! This definitely made things a bit more challenging, but on the upside, we are still PREGNANT!!!!!!

Your prayers are working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

29 Weeks 3 Days

Thursday is a really big day for the four of us. We are getting the boys growth scans at our routine ultrasound. We are really nervous. If Ben has not grown in two weeks we might be making a decision as far as delivery. The doctors feel that both boys are at a safe point to deliver if we need to make such a decision. We all would obviously like to get a few more weeks if we can.

I have a very good feeling. I know the boys had a big growth spurt in the last week or two. I am starting to feel whole body parts sticking out of my stomach. I think I have a pretty good idea which baby is which.

Two weeks ago (at 27 weeks), Jake was two pounds one ounce (39th percentile) and Ben was one pound five ounces (10th percentile.) They were at a 34% weight discordance. We are praying very hard tonight for some big growth!!! :)

Saturday, September 02, 2006

28 Weeks 6 Days (3 months of bed rest)

We are in the process of planning FAD (Fetal Appreciation Day) #29!!! Yup, we made it one more week! We have been told that everyday we are pregnant is about five less days in the NICU. Our goal is to keep those babies cooking as long as possible, which I think is quite possible at this point. Our doctors have actually said they are perplexed by our case. Jake and Ben have a mind of their own and continue to defy the odds. As my doctor said, babies do not read the textbooks.

At our ultrasound yesterday, no reverse flow of the umbilical artery was detected. Ben actually had more amniotic fluid then Jake, which was a first. When a baby starts to decline and they are not getting the blood/oxygen/nutrients they need, they are unable to produce amniotic fluid. Ben’s fluid continues to be stable if not better, which doctors are happily surprised about.

Jake is doing so well. He continues to inspire his little brother to grow. Ben is holding out as long as he can to give Jake the best chance possible. I am so happy they have each other. They have already impressed me with their strong will.

The last three weeks we have become very close with this couple going through a very similar situation with their twin girls. They have mo mo twins, which means they have one placenta and one sac. As you may remember, we have one placenta and two sacs (di mo twins.) The outcome for an identical twin pregnancy depends on how many days after conception the egg splits. Read below to see the five variations of identical twins.
  • Dichorionic and diamniotic (DI DI): These types of identical twins develop 2 separate placentas and 2 separate amniotic sacs (similar to fraternal or non-identical twins). They generally occur if the fertilized egg splits before 3 days after conception.
  • Monochorionic and diamniotic (DI MO): JAKE & BEN ARE DI MO’s These identical twins share 1 placenta (monochorionic) but develop 2 separate fluid sacs (diamniotic). This is the most common type, accounting for around 75% of identical twin pregnancies and happens if the split occurs between days 3 and 8 after conception.
  • Monochorionic and monoamniotic (MO MO): OUR FRIEND’S BABIES These twins share 1 placenta (monochorionic) and 1 sac (monoamniotic). This is the rarest type of identical twins, occurring if the split does not occur until 8 to 13 days after conception. Monochorionic/monoamniotic twins are associated with more pregnancy complications for the babies.
  • Conjoined or Siamese twins: In very rare circumstances, the twins do not split until the 13th to 15th days after conception. This leads to the babies themselves being physically joined together to some degree, as well as sharing 1 placenta and 1 amniotic sac (monochorionic and monoamniotic). The joining may just involve the baby’s skin on some part of their body (being easy to surgically separate soon after birth), or it may involve the babies sharing vital organs such as their brain or heart (making surgical separation more involved or not possible). These babies need to be born by Caesarean, with any proposed surgical separation being performed at some stage after they are born.
  • Acardiac twins: This is a very rare type of twinning that is similar to conjoined twins, except the babies share one heart. Separation may be possible, but the second twin cannot survive. However, the condition itself is also life threatening for the first twin because of an overload on the heart trying to support both babies. This can lead to heart failure (in 50% of cases). Again, the babies need to be born by caesarean and any proposed surgical separation is performed at some stage after they are born.

The splitting of a developing baby to create twins is not possible once the pregnancy is more than 15 days after conception.

We have two different types of pregnancies, but have had very similar treatment and monitoring plans. They had to come in three times a day to be monitored so they would always stop by and chat. It has been quite a bonding experience.

Last night Kevin and I were coming back from a wheel chair stroll with some friends only to find out it was time for our friends with the mo mo twins to deliver. At 30 weeks they delivered two healthy three pound baby girls. We are so happy to report the girls are doing very well. This experience made things very real for Kevin and I. Seeing them head off to the OR for the big moment made us realize our day to be parents is right around the corner. A feeling of excitement came over us. With all of the hardship and constant worry, we have forgotten that the most amazing experience of our life is going to be here before we know it!!! We are so excited to meet Jake and Ben. However, we have told them we will wait as long as we need to!!

All in all Kevin and I are doing well. Our spirits are much better. We are very confident there will be a positive outcome. Other then sore backs and nasty hospital food, we are doing pretty well. We can’t thank you enough for your prayers and well wishes. I can say without a doubt the reason we are here today and doing well is because of the power of prayer.

Happy Labor Day!!
XOXOXO





Wednesday, August 30, 2006

28 Weeks 3 Days

WE ARE STILL PREGNANT!!!! Despite the constant agony and stress of our current situation, we are so happy to have gained more time for these little ones. We had an ultrasound on Monday and things are about the same. Ben did show reverse flow of the umbilical artery again which we were not happy about. As we mentioned before, this means something is happening with his environment, whether it be the placenta or the cord is yet to be determined. The good news is he continues to be active and is maintaining normal amniotic fluid levels. He is showing no signs of being stressed. My doctor told me today that we should just take one hour at a time.

Today marks two weeks in the hospital. We have made friends with the staff and have moved a lot of stuff into our “apartment.” We are trying to make this situation as tolerable as possible. To be honest, there is nothing easy about this but we understand this time in the hospital is a valuable investment. Mentally, we are both drained. We feel like we are just going through the motions. Every night before we fall asleep we thank God for giving us another day.

As we close for the night, I wanted to share this beautiful poem that my friend John passed along to us. When his girls were in the NICU one of the nurses gave him this poem. It is very sweet! Thank you John!!

A Child’s Angel

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God:

They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?

Among the many angels, I chose one for you. Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.

But tell me, here in heaven, I don’t do anything else but sing and smile, that’s enough for me to be happy.

Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angels love and be happy.

And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don’t know the language that people talk?

Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.

And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?

Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.

I’ve heard that on earth there are bad people. Who will protect me?

Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.

But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.

Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.

At that moment there was much peace in heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly:
Oh God if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.

Your angels name is of no importance. You will call your angel:
Mommy.


Sunday, August 27, 2006

28 Weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are so happy to say we are 28 weeks pregnant!!!! We met our first big goal!! We know that 28 weeks is still not an ideal time to deliver but after being told we would miscarry at week 17 this seems like a true miracle!!

Now if I could just get little Benny to pack on a few ounces in these last few days/weeks. I have spoken with a dietician on how I can bulk up my diet these last few weeks to give him everything he needs plus some. Even though the hospital bed rest is really challenging, I think it has been key in the survival of my little ones. I seem to be having less contractions and I know I am burning a lot less calories, which means its all going to the babies.

Well we have to get ready for our big party tonight. I am making my parents toast Jake and Ben with a champagne flute of boost!!! After consuming 240 cans of boosts, I think its time my family got a taste of the wonderful cocktail too. :)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

27 Weeks 4 Days

Kevin and I want to thank everyone for your continued support and prayers. We need your prayers more then ever right now. I really don’t know where to begin… As Kevin mentioned last week, we were admitted to the hospital at 26 weeks and 3 days. At that appointment, they told us delivery could be within the week due to the reverse flow of the umbilical artery. Well here we are one week later and still hanging on. These boys amaze me every day. They have such a will to live! The odd thing is that if you go by the textbook, it says that reverse flow will NOT improve and progression for the worse is imminent. Once again, our boys continue to deify the odds! At our appointments this week, no reversal flow was detected. The doctor said it could be because of the steroid shots but that is highly unlikely. Not having the reverse flow buys us more time, which is desperately needed at this point in the pregnancy.

In addition to the reverse flow, I have been having some very minor contractions. We have been monitoring these several times a day and they seem to be getting less frequent. I am staying very hydrated and that seems to be helping. We continue to be monitored twice a day in addition to ultra sounds and echocardiograms. The daily monitoring is very stressful. I dread this process because I am always afraid we are going to see something that will tell us today is the day.

Today we had a full ultrasound only to find out Ben has only grown three ounces in two weeks. Ben is now one pound five ounces and Jake is two pounds one ounce. Ben’s slow growth is very concerning to the doctors. It could indicate that his portion of the placenta is aging but again, only time will tell. On a positive note, both boys have great fluid and activity. Their heart rates also are very good.

So how do we decide when we should deliver? The doctor said today could be the day..or two weeks from now could be the day. It’s hard to determine how things will play out. Both of our UM docs said they expect to deliver these boys in about 1-2 weeks. We feel this is much better then 26 weeks when we were admitted to the hospital. They will look at the big picture…their fluid, activity, growth, heart rates, dopplers, etc. The day that all signs point to the fact that they would do better in the ICU then inside of me... will be the day we deliver.

Tonight we went on a tour of the NICU. This was very sobering. I have seen pictures of babies that small but to see it in person was very difficult. I saw a dad in there by himself and his little girl was holding onto his finger. He was smiling at her and glowing just as a new dad should. She was hooked up to millions of tubes and had translucent skin. I did everything in my power not to break down right then. It was so hard to see a stranger’s baby, I can’t imagine what it would be like to see my own. I hope I can be as strong as that dad was tonight.

We did see a 27 week old baby and a baby that was born at one pound five ounces, which is where Ben is right now. Again, it was very difficult but also very helpful. I think it’s important to become familiar with what lies ahead. I thought being on bed rest for 11 weeks was challenging….I think bed rest will be a piece of cake compared to the ICU journey.

How are we doing??? Well…as good as can be expected. Hospital bed rest is a lot more challenging then being on bed rest at home. Kevin might as well be on bed rest too. He refuses to go home. He sleeps on a chair that pulls out every night right next to my bed. We like to call our room “apartment four.” We have set up internet, a DVD player, and made it as homey as possible. We joke that we finally have a place of our own. Our days go pretty fast as we are swarmed with docs and nurses all day long. I really miss seeing my friends and family. It is so hard to have visitors when we have testing all day and we are exhausted by the end of the day. Each day is so unpredictable. I apologize for not keeping in contact with everyone. Thank you very much for your understanding. I look forward to the day when we can have friends over for dinner or I can meet a friend for lunch. One day soon we will enjoy those things again.

As far as the hospital stay goes, we feel we are in very good hands. Our nurses and doctors have been outstanding. The first few days we were here we were on 24 hour monitoring, which was extremely challenging. One nurse, Debra, practically slept in my bed with me holding the monitors on my stomach all night. She was so patient and nurturing. We feel like we are in the best place we can be. I have been getting really sore and achy from the hospital bed but fortunately my mother-in-law is a certified massage therapist. Boy did I hit the jackpot!!! Not only has Sue brought us several meals but has also given me daily massages. Ever since I have been getting the massages, I feel like a new woman!!! I am so grateful for her..she has made this experience much more tolerable.

With Kevin and I staying at the hospital full time, it has been really hard to get things done with our house. Fortunately, I have a great builder and amazing parents who have been taking care of a lot of house stuff for us. Every night my mom and dad lug up a bunch of granite and hardwood samples, as we need to make these decisions quickly if we want to finish this house. They have been meeting with our interior decorator and tying up loose ends. I don’t know how people get through times like this without a support system.

Its funny…despite being in this difficult situation I continue to feel lucky. I feel lucky to be blessed with these two boys. I appreciate my friends and family more then ever. I hope in five years I always remember how I feel now. I hope I remember how important it is not to stress about the little stuff. This time will always remind me of how precious life really is.

We are starting to plan for our big party on Sunday…WEEK 28!!! We are calling it “Fetal Appreciation Day.” We are not calling it a birthday…because we don’t want a birth! We are ordering pizzas for all the docs and nurses and having our own little celebration. Should be pretty wild and crazy!

Thanks for letting me talk. It has been a long time since I have been able to update the blog and had a lot to say. Now that we have an Internet connection, I hope to update more regularly. Hope all is well with everyone and we will be in touch soon!

PS) Did anyone get to see the special on primetime last night about TTTS? We were so disappointed with the ABC’s depiction of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. They were inaccurate with many of their explanations, and especially discouraging to any parents that are currently battling this disease.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Thursday August 17, 2006

We wanted to give everyone a quick update. We had our weekly perinatal appointment yesterday and were given news that we were not expecting. Everything we have been hoping to avoid quickly became a reality. During our routine Doppler flow study, Ben’s umbilical artery began to show signs of reverse end diastolic flow. He has been holding steady the past 7 weeks with intermittent absent end diastolic flow, continuing to grow at his own pace, but these new findings have triggered some alarm among the doctors. Given these findings along with Danielle’s cervix showing some funneling/shortening, the doctors admitted us for around the clock monitoring at the U of M Birthing Center. They also decided to give Danielle steroids to expedite Ben’s lung development, in anticipation of a possible early delivery.

So, what does all of this diastolic flow talk mean? That is what we have spent the last few days trying to understand. From what we have discussed with the team of doctors, the reversal of the umbilical artery flow means that there is increased resistance in the placenta. This resistance restricts the blood flow to Ben from the placenta and seems to be the reason behind Ben’s slower growth pattern. We have been told that babies can sustain absent and even reverse end diastolic flow for weeks, so long as they continue to show activity and growth. Monitoring the baby’s heart rates and activity is now our primary focus.

My poor wife has become a science project; complete with monitors, wires, I.V and machines tracking the babies every move. The monitors are hooked up to Danielle’s belly 24 hours a day to keep close tabs on both Jake and Ben’s heart rate and overall activity. There is also a diode that detects contraction patterns. The docs are basically looking to see when there is a contraction and how each baby reacts. They are looking for decelerations in Ben’s heart rate upon contraction. Fortunately, Ben is hanging tough and continuing to flip and somersault like crazy. Unfortunately for Danielle, all of this movement is making the monitoring very difficult. The nurse on the midnight shift yesterday was in our room literally every 30 minutes looking for the heartbeats on Danielle’s belly. In order to find the heartbeat, she uses an amplified hookup that blasts their every movement through 2400 watts of surround sound. I may be exaggerating a little, but as I lay there and tried to sleep, I might as well been at a concert. I did manage to get a few winks in throughout the madness, but Danielle was unable to get any rest whatsoever.

Tomorrow we are scheduled for an ultrasound to check the Doppler studies of both the umbilical artery and the ductus venosus. The ductus venosus connects the left umbilical vein with the interior vena cava. It allows oxygenated blood from the placenta to bypass the liver and return to the systemic circulation for distribution to the rest of the body. We will post our results as soon as we can. We don’t have internet in our rooms so it may take us some time to find a good connection.




Friday August 18, 2006

Our ultrasound went as well as expected considering how active these boys are. Ben’s umbilical artery only gave us one reading showing intermittent reverse end diastolic flow, which is an improvement from yesterday. The majority of his reading showed absent end diastolic flow. We also tried to get a good reading on Ben ductus venosus. Ben would not cooperate for the ultrasound and decided it was playtime. We picked up a few readings that looked normal, so the doctor finally gave up and said “given his activity, finding this reading does not concern me at this time”. We think that is good news because we didn’t get a negative reading, which may become a decision-making finding for the doctors. So we bought ourselves another day. On Sunday we will be 27 weeks gestational age. Our goal right now is to make it to 28 weeks. Danielle continues to be monitored closely for heart rates and baby activity. Because of the findings today, the doctors have decided that 24 hour monitoring would not be necessary and have decided to get readings every 4-6 hours. Danielle is ecstatic because now she can get some shuteye.

I almost forgot to mention, but last night the chief resident came in to take a quick Bio Physical Profile test on the boys. This measures their movement, breathing, heart rates and overall activity. They both scored 8 out of 8! They are over achievers already.

We hope to keep you all up to speed over the weekend.

Kevin and Danielle.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

25 Weeks 3 Days

GREAT NEWS!!! We bought another week!! Today is a day I couldn’t wait to update the blog!!! Ben grew 4.5 ounces and Jake grew 5 ounces. Their weight discordance went from 30% to 27%. They both continue to grow at their own curve, which is so important. Ben is 1 pound 2 ounces and Jake is 1 pound 9 ounces. I think I overestimated what I thought they should be...the important thing is that my little guy is GROWING!!! ! And my big guy continues to thrive!!!

The doctor said the fluid also looked great. He continues to be encouraged with the activity level. Ben really is a wild man! Ben’s doppler was abnormal again but no change, which was good. One theory on why he has an abnormal flow is that maybe his cord is smaller then it should be. This would not be so bad. One side effect of a smaller cord is a tiny belly button. We could handle that! :)

The drive home from these appointments is usually not fun. We have to call and give the updates and its pretty stressful trying to explain all the findings. However, today was FUN! It was so nice to call the fam and share good news for once.

Thanks for all of the nice comments yesterday. Thank you especially to John and Jenny Marie. Don’t know if the rest of the group knows, but these new friends of ours are complete strangers that have been so kind to help us through our journey. John’s girls survived TTTS and Jenny Marie’s son survived IUGR. Sadly, Jenny Marie lost her little girl to IUGR. They have been so kind to share their experiences with us. They have no idea the impact they have had on us. I have said over and over again, once this is over, I will do my best to help other families going through this. Another great family is the Finbergs!! When Kevin and I read their blog, we were inspired. They gave us the idea of documenting our journey. Thank you to all of you from the bottom of our hearts!!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

25 Weeks 2 Days

Wednesday is the big day!! We have another weight check. We are hoping Ben will be 1 pound 4 ounces and Jake will be 1 pound 12 ounces. I guess we need to be grateful if Ben grows period!!! I can’t tell you how stressful these appointments are for us! We just hold our breath the entire time!! Please say a prayer tonight that our little guy has grown!! I strongly believe in the power of prayer!!

On a side note, I do have to vent and say after almost two months of bed rest, I am ready to pull my hair out! This is getting really old!! Sitting on a coach for two months may sound fun to most…but it is awful!!! I pray for patience and strength everyday. I think about last year at this time when I was training for my marathon, in the best shape of my life, and now here I am in the worst shape of my life. I am just watching my body turn to mush!!! Yea…it’s pretty hot! I know it’s a small price to pay for my sweet little boys!

I try to stay busy with house stuff and educating myself about the twins and their condition, but that is even starting to get old. For some reason, I feel guilty reading for fun or watching movies. I only watch three TV shows on a regular basis- Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, and Oprah. Ohhh and the Tigers every night with my dad and Kevin. I normally do not like watching sports, but with two boys on the way, lets face it… I am going to eat, sleep, and breath sports!

Thank GOD I have such wonderful parents who make me laugh and smile every night. I feel bad that even though they have a 29 year old, they still have to take care of me!!! I know the job of parenthood lasts a lifetime…but who knew I’d be sitting on their couch at 29 years old and they’d STILL be taking care of me! Kevin and I are very lucky to have such great parents. We could not do this without them!!

Hope this doesn’t sound like “poor me!” Despite everything that is going on, I continue to feel blessed to be pregnant with these little miracles. I know this is just a short period of my life, but it seems like an eternity. I know it is 100% worth it!!! Kevin’s message to me today on the calendar was “Thank you for giving our boys the best chance possible.” That makes it all worth it for me!

Almost done with another day!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

24 Weeks 4 Days (7 weeks of bed rest….ughhhhh!)

WEEK 25 HERE WE COME!!!! We made it through yet another grueling doctor’s appointment! Here is the low down: fluids, hearts, and cervix are all stable. The activity level of the babies is great! The doctor always tells us how encouraging it is to see an active fetus.

Ben is still showing intermittently absent end diastolic flow. It has been this way for five weeks now. The doctor told us since everything else looks good on him, not to worry. If he starts to show other signs of stress, that’s when we really will begin to worry. Dr. Crombleholme told us a baby can go weeks to months with absent flow and Ben’s doppler is not even 100% absent, so that was encouraging to hear.

Speaking of Dr. C., we had another very encouraging conversation with him on Friday night. He actually told us he thinks he was either wrong about us having TTTS or it has regressed. To hear him say he was “wrong” was an amazing thing to hear! We won’t know for sure if they have it till they are born, but he said he is amazed that we have made it to week 24 with no procedures. He told us that when he saw us at week 19 he did not imagine we would be doing so well.

He does believe we have IUGR. He told us week 24-28 is typically when an IUGR baby (Ben) begins to struggle. When we were told we have TTTS he said weeks 19-25 are the most critical. Lately, we were starting to feel so happy that we were out of the danger zone, but it looks like we are back to where we started. All we can do for IUGR is the bed rest and diet routine. There are really no procedures available to solve this problem. I just keep praying to God to give all four of us the strength to get through this.

We continue to be very frustrated with our health care providers. It really is a constant battle with the medical care professionals. Dr. C. is currently recommending certain tests but UM does not believe they are necessary. Each doctor has a completely different take on our diagnosis and care. This leaves us feeling confused and frustrated. We continue to believe it is our job to look out for our boys…after all, no one loves them the way we do! For the first time in my life, I am not afraid to question a doctor. We have found several discrepancies along the way that could have gone overlooked if we didn’t take matters into our own hands. A very important lesson we have learned through out this process is that you have to be your own advocate!

So as you can imagine, we are happy to be almost done with week 24! I really don’t think Kevin and I will be able to rest easy till these babies are at home with us. Actually, from what I have heard, there will be no “resting” with twins at home!!! :)

I will post again after our next appointment, which is next Wednesday.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

After many requests by our blog junkies, I have finally downloaded a few belly shot photos. I chose this photo first because Danielle is exactly one day pregnant in this photo. No belly yet, but doesnt she look good!!!!
Week 17 at Josh and Nicole's wedding, one week before our diagnosis. (pictured from left to right, Katie, soon-to-be Auntie Nicki, soon-to-be Auntie Kim, my babies momma and Jessie.)
Here is my beautiful bride at week 22.

Another day.......Another Boost!!!!!!!!!!!!

Week 24